Final Reflection
Pride
I am simple-minded, lazy, and afraid of the world. And yet, I pretend to be important. I am a pompous creton. Looking through the cracks of every situation I search for justification of my actions, before I even do them. I am over analytical of all the wrong things and let life whiz right past me. I am an amatuer in every field I study and participate. And yet, I am damned proud. Proud to be human, proud to have finally been set down, slapped in the face and given the truth. The How Writers Read course was a wake up call, a bucket of cold water splashed down my back. Here is why: |
Baby's First Steps
When I signed up for the course I was told it was going to be a great honor and a hard challenge, a challenge that would hopefully better my skills and knowledge as a writer. This was Dr. Kopp's pitch. All I heard was "this class will make me look good." And so I enrolled. This was step one to realizing how much of an asshole I am. |
On the first day of class I took a good look at my classmates. Somewhere inside me I was already debating who was the competition and who I had to outrun to save myself from the failing grade. These were childish thoughts and like a child I behaved, shying away when asked questions, making myself seem unknowing so when the time was right and I had the one intelligent thing to say, I'd be praised for my growth. I was petty and a half decent actor; however, somewhere along the line I was given a wake up call. |
Big Boy Pants
Sometime, about mid-semester, I had my breaking moment, my moment of growth. In most classes I prepare for this; I see it coming and then soak in all the compliments. Except this time I felt shitty before writing it, while writing it and then as I was soaking in the approval I felt it was underserved. The moment consisted of a post that may very possibly be the most honest writing I'd ever written. I owned up to my greed and vanity, but it wasn't satisfying. Instead I attacked myself, told myself I was unworthy of calling myself a good person, let alone a good writer. And because I was already so low I added to the pot the struggles I have faced this semester. The writing changed after that; I changed after that. Writing and life became less about me more about values and interaction and seeing things in multiple perspectives. It was about realizing your judgements and making new ones, about exploring your mind and all the minds surrounding you. Through terms such as register and intertextuality, I was able to apply new sight to my relationships and to how I perceive the world. |
New Eyes
I question everything from tears to flaming riots Inquiry holds no bounds. I've analyzed poetry, made connection to prose, but most invigorating- I learned to question life: the sick girl complaining about death and Mario Games, the lover who wonders what is off with me, the friends who need, but never supply, the mind that wanders as caution signs tell him to turn back. King has told me to embrace what I know, Butler to examine all I've felt, And Kopp is there to tell me I'm doing it wrong- Try again. And so I shall for the rest of my life. |
What I've Learned From Growing Up
I'm upset to leave this course for so much has opened my eyes and I do not want it to end. From the very start I struggled with understanding the material. Nothing has changed, and I am okay with that, because no matter which way I understand a text, a concept or lesson there is some slither of understanding. And every revisit tinders a new understanding, a realization through reinvention. This can apply to reading: how to read and which ways to read a text. I have learned the ways to approach a text and ponder without only analyzing structure and what I didn't understand, but what works in a story and where the emotion is.
I'm upset to leave this course for so much has opened my eyes and I do not want it to end. From the very start I struggled with understanding the material. Nothing has changed, and I am okay with that, because no matter which way I understand a text, a concept or lesson there is some slither of understanding. And every revisit tinders a new understanding, a realization through reinvention. This can apply to reading: how to read and which ways to read a text. I have learned the ways to approach a text and ponder without only analyzing structure and what I didn't understand, but what works in a story and where the emotion is.
The Theories (core value 2)
Throughout the semester I have applied theory and practice to reading text. Taking a look through the books i've read, one may recognize arrows associated with positivity and negativity within a value graph. Understanding where story or narration changed helped to determine where the important stuff happens. After all, it is during twists and turns that true art lies. It is like a roller coaster, the true enjoyable part loop and curl; the straight forward is always forgotten. |
Additionally, I've used registers of reading by returning to text multiple times, and each time with a new perception. For example, I read Daddy by Sylvia Plath literally or in a concrete register which the words meant exactly what they stand for, absent of metaphor and literary devices. I used to think this was solely mimetic, but there is more to it. A second reading consisted of all the intertextuality I could associate the piece with as well as symbols and play on words and the incredible use of metaphor all while taking note to all of my perceptions. Reading mimetically on multiple levels and eventually adding a thematic view was not only enjoyable, but I was able to learn technique via reading which Stephen King in On Writing promotes. |
Critical and Complex
Each and every reading this semester has been a challenge. Some required research from looking up vocab words to understanding the time period and the language used in the text to keying in on who the author is. But in every attempt at reading, keen thought and analysis was necessary. And applying these thoughts across mutiple text of different genres was a requirement. I used the words of King and Butler to explain character. I've used Prose to discuss purpose and many of the assigned readings to understand and apply theory. |