More so than any time in my life I have grown as a person - not a student, but as a human. Growth goes beyond skill, technique, time management and decision making. One grows by challenging oneself; after all, one cannot progress without a struggle. I have struggled. I am struggling and as I face the concerns in my life, as I discuss my troubles, I accept and learn.
Let’s start at the beginning of the semester. I enrolled in five writing courses. I had been a writing arts major for a semester prior and I needed to catch up, for I wanted to graduate on time. This was what I told myself. But, whether I want to or not, I will not graduate in the following three semesters. And I knew this before signing up. I was being hopeful, but more than anything I was being cocky. I was the stand out, the one super student taking five writing courses. I complained constantly, revealed my worry, but in reality, I smiled inside when people asked me “what classes are you taking next semester?” I wanted to brag.
Half the semester is over. I no longer worry about classes. I do the bare minimum and rush every assignment. I am not the super student. But there is still a need to stand out, to be different. So I’ve become the super friend instead. I’ve dropped my school work, although not completely, to provide for a friend who is deeply in need to the measure of life and death. I have feared that being superior was at risk, so I found an opportunity and jumped aboard. However, the severity of the situation has changed who I am. This happened the day I cried for an hour after realizing I may lose a friend.
I still care about superiority, I still want to be on the top tier of statistics, grades, what ever (just look at the first sentence of the post); but, that desire has lost its shine. Other things have become more important.
Read on in Part 2